Top 5 Songs That Make Me Cry

I’m a very emotional guy, I cry at movies, tv shows, video games and songs. I cry the most to songs, cause the lyrics are something I can relate my life to and they become a part of my life. There are so many out there that have made me cry, but these 5 are the ones that break me, that make me vulnerable and are important to me.

#5. How To Save A Life by The Fray

Struggling with depression, rejection, and abandonment, this song breaks my heart cause all the times I needed a friend to help me when I thought of suicide, I really had no one. I had my friend, Will, who I would talk to but there are times where he would fall asleep and I would still have thoughts of suicide. (I’m not saying he was a bad friend or anything, that’s just what happened) So the lyric in the song “I would have stayed up with you all night, had I know, how to save a life” just always makes me cry cause even though Will tried his hardest to talk me out of it, he would fall asleep unsuccessful and in the back of mind, I knew if I would’ve done it. The part “where did I go wrong? I lose a friend”, it would hurt him and he might blame himself and I would’ve hated that. So every time I would listen to the song, all those times would run through my mind, cause Will has told me he was afraid of losing people in his life, and I would’ve let him down.

#4. Misunderstood by Tynisha Keli

Like I’ve said, my whole life, I’ve lived with rejection, and it has drastically affected my mental health. Any social situation, I panicked inside and would become quiet and not social. The kids at school would only see me as the shy, weird kid and nothing more, never knowing what happened to me that caused me to be that way. I had no friends and always felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, I just wanted someone to talk to and be a friend to me. As a teen, I was gang raped and I still had no friends so every time I would cry, there was nobody, so the lyrics “whenever I cried, nobody was there to dry my eyes/Like it was my fault that I had nobody to tell me to hold on tight” breaks me, cause having nobody there for you is a terrible feeling. Nobody can see you vulnerable and crying for help, they can only see you when you have your guard up not knowing why you’re like that, so you live on misunderstood. Last year when I was raped again, the times I was depressed, I would text Will and he would try his best to make me smile or talk with me about why I was sad, there was no judgment, and though he might’ve not physically been there, he was still there when I was vulnerable and wanted to help and that’s what matters most. He understood me.

#3. Into The Light by In This Moment 

Before my depressing really became what it was, this song did indeed make me tear up, but once suicide went into my thoughts, i cry my eyes out to this song. Anytime I thought of suicide, this song would play in my mind and I would have an image of my family and Will surrounding me in bed, finding me dead and crying. I saw my mother breaking down, crying her eyes out and it would haunt me seeing that image and knowing that I would have hurt these people I love and care about, I would drop my blade and cry myself to sleep. I heard people say suicide is selfish cause your only thinking about your pain and not the pain you’d be giving to others, and I agree suicide is selfish, cause hurting others is devastating. To this day, when this song comes on, I would mostly change it cause seeing that image is heartbreaking.

#2. For Good from Wicked

Learning and changing from people that come into your life is one of the greatest gifts in life. So many walk and share their gift, but it’s sad when you see them walk away. Though you’ve changed, there’s a chance you may never see them again so you may never learn more from them. It’s depressing that these people were first strangers then became friends and there’s a chance they’ll become somebody you used to know. It’s nice to know you’ve known somebody so great and have become a better person, it’s just sad to say goodbye when you don’t want it to end. I may not have had any true friends but to the people who treated me like I was one, thank you, especially you Will. Before we were friends, I was “shy”, I would shut people out and you let me open my heart and I really appreciate it. I really hope I did something in return and I hope we can be friends again.

#1. The Time Has Come from Pokemon

I can’t make it through this song, I basically breakdown immediately. Songs about saying goodbye just breaks me cause saying goodbye to others hurts a lot. Just knowing the time you were friends comes to an end hurts since cause you don’t want it to end, you’re scared of losing them. I remember playing this alone in my room on my night of graduation, cause I knew it was going to be a true goodbye to everybody I went to school with, I may not have been friends with them, just knowing these people I got acquainted with are no longer going to be in my life hurt a lot, the memory of crying to that episode it played on (Pikachu’s Goodbye) when I was a kid played in my head. I was so clueless and unprepared on how that’s life goes. I never knew this song was going to play a big part in my life, I had to say goodbye to many I called friend, but what’s sad is that I didn’t get a goodbye from them, they just left me and it hurts my heart to this day. I never wanna say goodbye to a friend again.

Have any songs that make you cry? That you think are important in your life? Comment below and share your story on why.

My Dying Star – A Story of Depression

Depression, maybe one of the worst things to happen to ones life, it can come and go. I remember the trauma that lead to it.

When I was three, an old neighbor who owned a shop, he touched me inappropriately and gave me a toy to keep me shut. I can still remember him luring me and telling me to be quiet and not to say anything or I’ll get hurt. I didn’t know what to do afterwards, I was scared and just didn’t know what to do. On that day, demons grew inside me telling me I wasnt good enough, that i was worthless. The years afterwards, I became the shy boy who didn’t say anything, I shut people out, I pushed them away, I kept my walls up and spent my time alone. Through my time in elementary and middle school, I did have people I called “friends​”, but in the end of the day, we weren’t​actually friends, we never hung out or talked about our feelings or our dreams. Everytime after school, I will be just in my room watching TV or play video games with my brothers, sure I spent my time with somebody but I never really​ had a friend. When I go school, I will hear my peers talking​ about the times they hung out and what was going on in their life. I was in the outside looking in, wanting to know what a friendship was. I wanted a friend but I was ​scared I wasn’t going to be liked​ cause I was seen as the shy boy the whole time. I only had school friends, I never had an actual friend.

Once I went into high school, I realized I was gay and always knew I was, two weeks after I turned 16, I decided to explore my sexuality and I arranged to hookup with an older man and it went all wrong. He picked me up and took me to his motel room where I found out he had two of his friends there, once I saw them I got scared and wanted to go home and not go with it. But I had no choice, they forcibly grabbed​ me and threw me on the bed and stuffed a pair of socks in my mouth, pinned me down and proceeded to rape me. I remember the eyes, the death threats, the physical abuse and the tears I cried. Once they finished, they took me to their truck and drove a mile before throwing me out the car. I walked the rest of the way home, snuck back into room and cried the rest of the night, my room is in the basement so no one was able to hear me. I wanted to say something to my parents but felt like it was my fault, I didn’t want to come out yet and it happened​ two days before a family vacation which lasted a month, so I thought it was best if I didn’t cause I would forget about it, so I buried my doubts, my insecurities and my emotions. Once we got home, I only thought about it once cause I had a great time with my family so I didn’t want to say anything to them and make them feel ashamed. I met a guy online and he became a text buddy and soon after I told him about getting raped and being depressed, he told me he couldn’t deal with that and walked away. Maybe that’s why I get so unsecured, I have trust issues why I an why I am, I just wanted a friend but each time I looked around, there was nobody and so I buried everything in a coffin and just left it alone, I never got any help. There were so many nights where I just lied in bed and just cried. I drowned in solitude.

The years after, I was still depressed cause I still had no friends, my brothers had theirs and I felt really alone. I still had my school friends but the number went lower each year and I knew after graduation the ones I still had would no longer keep in touch with me. My self worth got so low, after graduation, I had no plans to further my education or find a job, I didn’t do anything for about two years. My mother talked to me and told me to make something out of my life, I needed that and so I decided to go to pastry school. I felt happy and worthy, now that I made a decision and had support. That year I finally came out to my family and they took it well and accepted me for who I am. I did make friends there but they could only be school friends cause they lived so far away. That did sadden me a bit but I knew that right away so it didn’t completely hurt me. During school i met a guy on Jack’d and we dated for awhile but I was still the shy guy and he quickly lost interest in me and broke my heart, I was devastated, soon after he no longer contacted me. During my internship, I got fired and I felt unworthy again and questioned if I should finish school or not cause I lost some of my passion. I did finish but after graduation, I didn’t get any of the jobs I applied for and I felt even more worthless. I didn’t get a job til October that year and it wasn’t in the field I went to school for, it was a cleaning job. I felt alright the time I worked but after two months I quit cause I felt like I should be doing something better and wasn’t going to further​ my career in pastry. Again I felt lost and just gave up cause I wasn’t getting any jobs I applied for again, I felt like I wasn’t needed in the world.

I didn’t do anything for the next couple of months, April and July 2016, my parents and I went to Florida to celebrate Easter and just for vacation. The time in July, I decided to redownload Tinder and I decided to reconnect with a guy I used to talk to. His name is Will and the funny thing was that he was also in Florida at that time, we reconnected and I enjoyed chatting with him again. We discussed about meeting each other. I was in Florida until the end of July and when we got home, Will and I kept talking. We decided to meet up and watch the movie Kubo and the Two Strings, afterwards we just walked around and talked, we then went to Chik Fil A and had a milkshake and talked some more. It was so nice seeing him, it was one of the best days last year, I developed a small crush on him, I’m not saying it was love at first sight, I’m saying the day I met him, there was no other guy worth thinking about but him. I had some joy in my life and that night I was tearing up cause it was such a long time​ since I hung out with someone and felt like I had someone I would actually call as a friend. The only downfall was that he lived an hour away and was very busy with work. We did keep in contact the rest of August and September and felt we both enjoyed chatting with each other.

But the joy I had ended that October, I was talking with a guy on Grindr and felt like he was gonna be a friend too and we decided to meet up, it went wrong. I was catfished and once again raped in my life. The man had a ski mask and gloves on cause he didn’t want to leave a trace on me. Gun in hand he threatened to kill me if I didn’t submit and if I said anything. He did the same thing the other guys did, drove me halfway home before kicking me out and made me walk the rest of the way home. I didn’t try to get the police involved cause there was no way to identify him and no trace of him. I posted my incident on Facebook and Will texted me to see how I was doing and he was mad that happened​ to me. That day I could feel myself deteriorate. The following ​weeks, the demons inside me dug up the coffin I once buried. I got weaker and weaker, and the demons took over me. The times I was in the turmoil, I submitted to them and listened to the lies they told me, telling me Will didn’t care about me, that I shouldn’t alive and that the world would be better off without me. I got so depressed, I did something I never thought I’d do, I started cutting myself. Days before Thanksgiving, I tried to​ kill myself, but I couldn’t do it. Throughout the whole time, I crushed on Will more since I felt comfortable pouring my feelings out to him and he took me as I am with no judgement. He even gave me a cute little nickname and each time he call me that, I would blush and just felt appreciated. So it really hurt when on Thanksgiving night I found out he had a boyfriend. I was so hurt, I thought​ it was best if I just cut things off with him cause just texting him hurt me. I didn’t know how he actually felt about it but he said goodbye as well. Days after, things were still depressing, things got more depressing when I met up with a guy I used to talk with and he attacked me and slapped me hard. I got away from him and instead of doing anything about it, I was set on killing myself. I couldn’t handle the pain I’ve had stored in me throughout all these years. I contacted Will about this and I don’t know why since we weren’t friends but he was there the whole time for me, I needed someone again and he was the only one. I failed that day and I tried a couple of times the week that came after and each time Will was there trying to convince me not​ to, each time I wanted to, deep down I didn’t cause I knew Will cared about me and of course my family and I just couldn’t hurt them. Many times I’ve said goodbye and each time I cried because I was so depressed and wanted to kill myself I was never going to talk with this great guy, I felt like I was disappointing him as a friend. Many months we kept in contact but since we only met once, I still didn’t know how to be a friend, but he knew how. One day, December 11th to be exact, I was completely fixated on killing myself, but something happened I never expected, the police showed up and took me to the hospital. I found out Will called then and at that moment, my heart smiled, cause he showed he really does care about me. I was crying tears of joy cause I finally had a friend but I also had a hero. I felt grateful and really wanted to get mentally better, but the demons were still strong and a week later, I went back to being suicidal​. Christmas and New Year’s, I had to fake being happy and each time I had a fight with Will cause the whole texting issue he has. I hate how I made him feel bad about it, like he was a bad friend when in fact I was. New Year’s which is also Will’s birthday, he got dumped and I felt terrible for him, I may have a crush on him, even if its not with me, I do want him to be happy. As the days went by, I felt the demons taking over my soul and I just did nothing. I did get some help with the suicide help number I got from the hospital but I stopped calling cause of my demons told me to stop. I started thinking about dying and killing myself some more. One night Will sent me a pic about being gay is a super power and I asked him about what would be his and soon after we talked about how we would be superheroes and have a base in the mountains, what our powers are and what our codenames be, it was cute and just made me smile anytime we talked about it. But things got worst for me when Will told me he was moving to NY, and it hurt me so much cause I felt like I was losing my friend and I was never going to see him again. I only saw him once and I just wanted to see him again and hearing that news, it broke my heart. I really wanted to tell him how I really felt about it but my words will have no effect since we only met once. We did keep in touch but he got busier and when I texted him, I started to get no answer, my demons told me he stopped caring about me, he hated me, he was ignoring me on purpose cause I really wasn’t his friend, deep down I knew he was just busy but my demons wouldn’t let me believe it. Whenever im alone, the demons take over and i habe no control. One of the worst days of my life, I was deep in turmoil, I was breathing heavily trying to breathe but my demons were suffocating me, they took over me and I sent a message to him I never thought I would, I told him I hated him. Right when that was sent, I felt the demons release me laughing, I looked down and saw what I sent and I broke down in tears. I don’t hate him at all. Instead of trying to explain to him why that was over sent, I went to my room and started cutting myself. Will deleted me and blocked me, I could tell he actually hated me, he was finished me and no longer cared. The demons won, they wanted him to walk away, they wanted me to have no one to care about me, they wanted me to kill myself.

A couple of days after that happened, one night I couldn’t sleep, I decided to draw (which I haven’t done since December) and listen to music (I haven’t done that since December as well​). The first song that came on was A Dying Star by In This Moment, I began to tear up when it came on cause of the meaning of the song. Once the chorus came on, I completely broke down cause of the lyrics “I could mend my wings” and that’s when I knew I need to get my life back and get mentally stable, otherwise I’m gonna lose more in my life. I listened to nore of theit dongd and many ofntheir songs spoke to me, The Fighter, Big Bad Wolf, Into The Light, Whore, Prayers and Remember. next morning, I contacted someone I went to school with, who’s now a therapist and we talked about everything going through my mind and how I need to overcome my demons, insecurities and not let my feelings control my actions. Lately I been trying to contact Will to talk to him and apologize for all I’ve done and how I treated him, but I’ve failed, he really does hate me and now I’m broken. I am getting better and I have not thought of suicide or cutting myself, but I’m broken inside cause I lost my one friend, he actually did care about me and it breaks my heart.

I hate that I let my insecurities, doubts and my demons ruin my friendship with him. I am so sorry if I made you think you hurt me, that you were a problem for me, you weren’t, I was, this is all my fault and I’m sorry that you treated like you were it. I wish I was stronger that day, I wish was stronger all those days and not thought of suicide and made you worry about me and scared him you. I hate that I made yiu think that I hate you cause I don’t hate you at all, yoy mean a lot to me and now thst you’re gone, it seems like it would be forever cause it feels like it already. I wish I could talk to you one more time and explain everything and just hope somehow you will forgive me for ruining our friendship. I’m scared, I never wanted to lose you, I really miss you. I’ve lost many people I’ve called friend but with you, you were really my friend and it’s killing me that I lost you. 

Will, if you’re somehow reading this just know I’m very sorry for everything and I do hope everything is going well for you and you’re feeling well. I’ve written a letter for you and I wish I could share it with you, but it seems like that won’t happen. I’m so sorry Will. I am so grateful you saved my life, I wish you were still in it.

Top 10 Favorite Crazy Ex Girlfriend Songs from Season 1

So the season 2 for Crazy Ex Girlfriend premieres tonight and I’m so excited. One day I couldn’t decide what to watch on Netflix and Crazy Ex Girlfriend kept showing up as a Top Pick so I decided to give it a chance and I fell in love with it. I watched season 1 like 5 times. I just finished rewatching again today and it made decide to do a list for my favorite songs from Season 1. Let’s begin!
Honorable Mentions:

JAP Battle 

Both girls aggressively and humorously tear each down. Great flow, funny lyrics and nice beat. I put O.G in 5.0 GPS is the best line in the song. 

I’m The Villain In My Own Story 

Very meta with great references of other pop culture media. Really shows off the true character of Rebecca. Very Disney and funny.

Feelin’ Kinda Naughty 

So crazy and creepy, but very hilarious. Love that it’s a synthpop song that can be mainstream.

Put Yourself First

A great parody song that undercuts the cliche of happiness and confidence through a makeover by exploring how much a female’s self worth is shaped by society’s male gaze. Wish it was longer.

Settle For Me 

So very classic Hollywood inspired by Astaire. Santino’s charm and soothing vocals are perfectly showcased in this song.

#10. The Sexy Getting Ready Song

A very well executed feminist protest song on the un-sexiness of making oneself “sexy”. The rapper interlude is the best part, so funny.

#9. I’m So Good At Yoga

I prefer the clean version than the explicit, but nonetheless, it’s a great song. A nice Bollywood style musical number with hilarious ego compliments. 

#8. Dream Ghosts 

Love the Motown and Dream girls homage. Very enjoyed the guest vocals of Amber Riley and Ricki Lake. All the quirks mentioned about being a female dream ghost were funny as well.

#7. Group Hang

The perfect description of going to Taco Bell. Does Shakira better than Shakira does herself. Very catchy and great jokes in the bastardization of Latin food.

#6. Heavy Boobs

Coming from a female point of view (well one with “gifted” assets) tackling a sexualized body part and deconstructing it. With hilarious lyrics about the cost of having huge breasts. It’s a song that was meant to go viral and spread the message of the desexualization of breasts.

#5. Sex With A Stranger

Love the Love, Sex, Magic and Partition inspiration. Very funny lyrics and funky beat that gets stuck in your head. Love the part about the STD testing window, random, but it fits and is knowledgeable.

#4. I Give Good Parent

Great example on how the explicit version is funnier. Yes, the saying was first used in Veronica Mars, but Rachel Bloom should be credited for cementing it in pop culture, plus who gives a shit about Veronica Mars? I want this saying on a shirt, would wear it proudly.

#3. Face Your Fears

Strangely inspiring! Paula’s vocals are spectacular and very soulful. I laugh everytime to all the “good” advice she sings, especially the burning building part. This needs to be sung in church.

#2. I’m A Good Person 

Another song that’s funnier when it’s explicit. The lyrics are fucking hilarious and perfect for your own mantras. I call this song one of my own theme songs. Absolutely perfect!

#1. Oh My God, I Think I Like You

Love this song so much! Been through this situation so many times, the lyrics really speak to me. I get a I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) vibe from it because it takes a very true and real element of the human condition and makes it a self realization on how you really feel. It’s a cute song and has humorous lyrics.

What are you favorite songs from Crazy Ex Girlfriend Season 1? You excited for Season 2? Comment below

Injustice 2 Announced

It was just announced there is going to be a sequel to Injustice: Gods Among Us.

In the video we see Superman and The Flash fighting, Batman attacks The Flash, Aquaman attacks Batman, Superman attacks Batman and then we see a possible new character arrive, Supergirl. With how the show, Supergirl has become a success, it’s no surprise she might be joining the game. I’m excited for this, I enjoyed the first game and wanted a sequel. Expect a character Wishlist soon.

UPDATE:

Along with the trailer, there was a press release confirming two new playable characters, along with Supergirl, Gorilla Grodd, and Atrocitus.

Atrocitus is the leader of the Red Lantern Corps. The plot synopsis provided by the press release teases a galactic threat coming to Earth, which may explain how Atrocitus becomes involve.

Gorilla Grodd is the psychic primate who often challenges The Flash.

Injustice 2 will be released for PlayStation 4 and Xbox One in 2017.

Are you excited for Injustice 2? Comment below

More Mario Kart DLC?

A couple of days ago there was a tweet from Nintendo UK with a screenshot of Toad and Mario being fucked up by the train in Kalimari Desert, text saying “good things come to those who wait”, and with the hashtag MK8. (Link to the tweet down below)

https://mobile.twitter.com/NintendoUK/status/738777798060482560

Because of this, there’s speculation that there will be more DLC for Mario Kart 8 which might include Kalimari Desert. Are people just reading too much of this or will dreams come true and Nintendo will release more DLC? I really hope it’s the latter cause Mario Kart 8 had the best DLC. Expect a Mario Kart DLC Wishlist soon.

What do you think about the tweet? Do you want more Mario Kart DLC? Comment below.

Random Super Smash Bros. 3 Gameplay Video #4 – Zelda OP

So I decided to play 8 player Smash since I haven’t played that mode in a pretty long time and of course I have to play with my main, Zelda. In my opinion, Zelda is great in teams, 4 player, and 8 player Smash, her special and smash attacks can catch players and do a lot of damage, plus the elevator is great for getting multiple KOs, as seen in this video. Take a look

  
As a joke, I’m saying that Zelda OP because of how I was able to get 5 KOs using The Elevator. Of course I know she isn’t, I understand  her flaws, but she has many great strengths and that’s why I love her. Anyways, my jaw dropped and was shocked that I got 5 KOs with The Elevator, but it hyped me up, so much that I was kinda off my game near the end, that’s how I got KO’d and got combined by Samus, but in therms I still got the win. 

Hope you enjoyed this video, I will be posting more Top 10’s and Smash videos soon, just been busy. 

My 1st Year on WordPress: 2015

Today is the last day of 2015 and it was a pretty decent year for me and since I decided to start blogging, I had my mind off of the bad things. When I decided to blog, I only wanted to post favorite things, not any opinions or anything in the news so I didn’t expect to get a lot of views, followers, likes and comments. I’m a bit surprised on how many views I got this year since it’s mostly my personal likings. I decided to post my stats and thank everybody for viewing my posts.

Overall Views – 323

Posts – 53

Visitors – 204

Likes – 5

Comments – 17

Best Views In A Day – 19

First Post – March 7th

Top 5 Posts With The Most Views

#1. Home Page/Archives – 93

#2. Top 20 Stereotypes Used In For Glory In Super Smash Bros For Wii U and 3DS – 57

#3. Top 10 Cutest Video Game Characters – 30

#4. Top 10 Characters I Want As DLC For Super Smash Bros. For Wii U and 3DS – 27

#5. Top 10 Favorite Super Smash Bros. For Wii U and 3DS Memes – 16  

Thank you so much for viewing my random posts! Hope you view my random posts in 2016.

Happy New Year’s! Have a great one!